Lady in Waiting, I'm Waiting
by ladylezelia
Summary: Lu Bu's kingdom was always known as a safe kingdom. What had gone wrong? Diaochan kicked up clods of dirt and sand as she raced through the dimly lit and dirty tunnels. Fear coursed through her body and her hands trembled. She craned her neck around and saw Liu Bei's shadow in the distance. Hadn't he gotten Dong Zhuo by now? She'd barely escaped. What's to live up to now?
1. Chapter 1 : Escape the Kingdom

**(I do not own any characters from the Dynasty Warriors franchise.)**

Diaochan smiled as she pirouetted gracefully, twirling a pink ribbon around her in the process. Beside her, her best friend, Zhenji, did the same. The indigo ribbon she twirled wasn't quite as steady.

The audience in the tavern applauded. Most of them were drunk, but few weren't. Diaochan and Zhenji sashayed backstage, to the crowd's delight. Diaochan walked through the curtain of beads and into her dressing room. She noticed a glass with sweet orange cider on her vanity. A blood orange was wedged onto the rim of the glass. Zhenji poked her head into Diaochan's dressing room.

"Lovely performance out there," she complimented. Diaochan spun around in the barstool at the edge of her vanity to look at the dark haired girl. "Are you kidding? That sucked. I hate those kind of dances." She sneered, picking up the drink and taking a sip. Zhenji laughed. "You won't be saying that when you're doing a solo bellydance on stage." Diaochan almost dropped her drink. She was careful not to, though, for the sake of the delicately patterned glass and her job.

"Tell me your aren't lying, Zhen," Diaochan said. Zhenji shook her head, smirking. Diaochan squealed with delight, then took a swig of her orange cider. "I'm so excited! This is my favorite!" Zhenji rolled her eyes. "I don't see what's so great. I mean, you have to wear a bra over your clothes-"  
"But all of the pretty beads!" She laughed, then told her friend, "You're sure different, Diao," After that, she left the room.

When she finished changing, Diaochan walked into the stage. The silk curtains were closed. She took this time to pose; her hand was on her hip and the other one held a flamingo feather fan in her other hand. A few minutes later, the curtains opened, allowing Diaochan to do what she did best.

§§§§§§§§

It was the middle of the show when the sound of pistols firing paralyzed everyone. Diaochan stopped dancing, her hip bucked to the side. Everyone looked around, searching for the source of the shots. The pistols fired again, this time closer, and in came a plump yet broad man wearing a yellow and green dress shirt and white slacks under a maroon cape. He had a long, curly beard and a hat matching his clothes.

Behind the man, Lu Bu ran, holding a spear in his hand.

"Run, Diaochan!" He called out. Diaochan quickly turned around and dashed out the back exit. Zhenji was following her closely. "Where should we hide?!" Zhenji screamed. Diaochan turned her head, shrugging. "As far away as possible!"

At the very back of the kingdom was a single Weeping Willow with green leaves. Under it was a golden chain whip with a bejeweled hilt. As Diaochan pulled it up, a trap door opened, revealing an underground tunnel.

'Has Lord Lu Bu been hiding something?' Diaochan thought as she and Zhenji stepped in the tunnel and closed the trap door. "It's cold here," Zhenji whispered hoarsely, hugging her sides. Diaochan sighed. "At least we're safe." She stared at the golden whip in her hand. In the corner of her eye, she saw her friend nod. "Let's just hurry and go." She said, and began to sprint further into the tunnel.

"They went down there, Master Dong Zhuo." A brunette girl wearing a short white and lavender dress told the strange man holding the pistol. "Thank you. Now open it." He laughed. The girl frowned but got down on her knees and managed to open the door. "Good, now leave," Dong Zhuo sneered, shoving the girl away. He jumped through the trap doors, the doors shutting behind him.

Dong Zhuo's stomping startled Diaochan and Zhenji; a few of the torches plastered to the wall shook out of place, dropping to the cobblestone ground. **_"I WILL GET YOU BOTH, YOU LITTLE TRAMPS!"_** Dong Zhuo's cry echoed throughout the tunnels. Diaochan, offended, stopped running. She gripped the handle of the golden whip tightly. Zhenji stopped.

"C'mon, Diao!" She said. Diaochan shook her head. "Go, Zhen," she commanded.

"I'm not leaving without-"

**_"GO, ZHENJI!"_** Diaochan shouted, her shout rivaling Dong Zhuo's. Zhenji was startled. Diaochan never called her Zhenji; only Zhen, and that was it. She took this as a hint and spun on her toe and dashed away.

Dong Zhuo soon encountered Diaochan. "Haha, isn't it my time of day," the plump man grinned. Diaochan clenched her teeth, battling against herself so she wouldn't hiss, growl, or just lash out in general.

"Such a pathetic slut-"

Diaochan bit her lip.

"I'm surprised people like her-"

Her lip began to bleed, and her knuckles slowly paled.

"Too bad that will all go to waste."

With a fierce battle cry and a cat-like pounce, she started whipping the plump man with her whip. Diaochan noticed a few burns left from the whip.

With all of the strength he could muster, Dong Zhuo shoved Diaochan away. He took out his pistol and began firing. Impressively, to avoid the bullets, Diaochan quickly did the splits.

"That's it bitch, die!"


	2. Chapter 2 : She's in the Palace!

**Okay.. This popped up in my head, and I thought this would be cute. Even though I ship Guan XingxZhang Bao more (haha yaoi 3) I'm gonna try this. So I hope you guys like it... And stuff...**

Diaochan sprung up and somersaulted over Dong Zhuo. She got down on her hands and swung her feet around, knocking the man to the ground. The pistol fell from his hands. Before the man could pick it up again, she stepped on his hand and picked up the gun with trembling hands.

"Don't move," Diaochan whispered, pointing the pistol in Zhuo's face. The plump man below her bellowed. "You can't stop me," he said. "You'll never get away. No matter what."

"They're down there, milord."  
Dong Zhuo recognized the voice as the girl who had 'assisted' him in locating Diaochan and Zhenji. He hissed as he heard another voice. "Thank you. You may go," this voice belonged to none other than Lord Liu Bei. Diaochan craned her head around.

The green clad emperor quickly caught up to Diaochan and Dong Zhuo's location. "Dong Zhuo." He growled. The man underneath Diaochan growled back. "Go. I will take care of this filthy man." Liu Bei insisted. Diaochan dropped the pistol and ran.

'This must have been where he entered, I guess,' Diaochan thought as she encountered an open trap door. She heaved herself up through the door and came face to face with a petite girl with blue-green eyes and short brown hair. She, too, wore green, like Lord Liu Bei.

"Hello. I am Sun Shangxiang. What is your name?" The girl said. 'He married someone from Wu?' Diaochan thought. She shook her head and introduced herself. "My name is Diaochan. It is a pleasure to meet you, Shangxiang."

Shangxiang frowned. "You must be exhausted. Here, come with me." She pulled Diaochan up and walked out the door. "Where are we?" Diaochan questioned. "The Shu palace." Shangxiang replied.  
"Oh. Well, it's beautiful here." Shangxiang smiled.

"Here we are. The washroom!" Shangxiang said. Diaochan felt her cheeks burn as she saw the large tub filled with water and bubbles. There were a few candles lit by the side. 'They certainly know how to treat their guests.' She thought. "Have fun!" Before Diaochan could protest, Shangxiang was already gone.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

**(WARNING: CRACK PAIRING AHEAD. ;D)**

"Brother!" Guan Yinping sprinted outside, bumping into Guan Xing. "W-what? What is it, Yinping?"

"I just saw Aunt Shangxiang in the palace with-"

"GUAN XING!" Zhang Bao crashed into Guan Xing and Guan Yinping. The three stood up. Bao grabbed Xing's shoulders, shaking him and squealing like a fanboy. "Aunt Shangxiang was with Diaochan~" Xing tilted his head. "Diaochan?" Yinping gasped. "You don't know who Diaochan is?" She practically screamed. Xing shook his head. She smiled. "Then you'll just have to meet her!

"Crap... Where are you taking me?"

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

"Alright. Let's split up and find Diaochan! Whoever finds her first brings her to the entrance!" Guan Yinping announced. "I'll check the bedrooms!" She ran off. "Dibs on the dining hall." Zhang Bao ran in the other direction. "But how am I supposed to.. find you... guys..." Guan Xing murmured. He shrugged and began searching.

As he passed the washroom, Xing heard water running. Assuming it was Shangxiang washing her hands, he cracked the door open and poked his head through the doorway. "Aunt Shangxiang, Bao told me-"

_"AAAAAAAAAAHH!"_

"BWOASHIT." Xing had to cover his nose to prevent Diaochan from noticing his obvious nosebleed. "N-naked lady*..."

Diaochan sunk in the tub and picked up a book by the tub and threw it at Xing. "Dirty pervert!" She cursed, blushing heavily. Xing stood up, blood streaming from his nose like a waterfall. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He scurried out of the room, tripping over his own two feet. He jumped up and continued running.

"I'M SORRY!"

**Hope you guys like it! This is my second fanfic... So I'm kinda a noob, especially to the DW archive. I've read more fanfics than I've written, however. But anyway, I hope you liked it!**

**1*= if anyone can guess the reference you win a jar of cookies. c:**

**Alright, end of the crack pairing, too. Woohoo!**

**Reviews**

**Mockingtale Bright: Haha, thank you :) this is my second fanfic, so your review is really appreciated! ^^**


	3. The Abridged History of Guan and Zhang

**I do not own any characters from the Dynasty Warriors franchise.**

**Lady in Waiting, I'm Waiting**

**A/N: Just a quick note, despite the content, there will be no romance in this story! Just wanted to tell you guys. :/**

"I like them."

Diaochan held up the lovely brown rimmed dreamcatcher earrings to her ears. They were webbed with mahogany string and cream colored beads with matching feathers.

"I'm glad," Sun Shangxiang smiled. "It was the only thing my nephew could get, what with the war brewing in the northeast and all. Speaking of which, I'm really sorry about him. I'm sure he didn't mean it." Despite the amount of times Diaochan kept calling him 'perv' in her mind every time she saw him, she let out a meek "whatever".

"Are you okay, Diaochan? You look pale." Shangxiang shifted uncomfortably across from Diaochan, her head tilted to the side. The petite girl smiled.

"Yes, of course. I'm fine," Diaochan sat up in the bed she was previously laying in. She looked around the small, quaint bedroom that Sun Shangxiang and Liu Bei had provided for her.

"I forgot it was morning," Diaochan found herself yawning once again. She sunk down in the bed and stuffed her face into the pillow, absorbing the scent of 'primrose and island breeze', as Shangxiang informed her earlier.

"You should get dressed," Shangxiang said. "I'm sure my niece, Yinping, has some clothes that you could fit."

"Actually," Diaochan cleared her throat. "I recall you being a member of the Sun family, too. Do you have anything red? I'd like something to, y'know, match my earrings." Shangxiang laughed.

"Follow me."

oOoOo

Diaochan managed to find something. It was a long sleeved white and cherry red kimono that came down to her knees that had white cherry blossoms on the sleeves, her old white tights, and some simple mahogany sandals.

"Do you like rice? We're having sushi," Liu Bei asked, pushing forward a bowl of rice towards Diaochan. Diaochan nodded delightfully.

"I ate it all the time at Lu Bu's palace," she cooed. Gladly, she scooped a couple spoonfuls onto her plate. Bei passed the bowl of seaweed her way.

Diaochan swallowed the sushi stuffed in her mouth.

"Thank you," she said. Bei nodded. "Now, could you please show me where my clothes from yesterday are?"

Shangxiang, who was sitting across from her, donned a confused expression. "Why? Is something wrong with the kimono?"

Diaochan could sense the hurt in her voice. So, immediately, she responded, "No, no! Nothing's wrong, it's just that I want to hurry to Lu Bu's kingdom to make sure Dong Zhuo didn't hurt him."

It was Liu Bei's turn to be confused. Before he could say anything, his wife elbowed him.

"You forgot to tell her!" Shangxiang snapped. Diaochan mentally facepalmed. "I can't believe you did that!"

Bei glared at his wife. "I'm not an imbecile, woman! I'm getting old and I still have to balance a kingdom on my shoulders! You expect me to remember everything?"

"Yeah, pretty much!"

Diaochan deadpanned. As the couple continued to bicker, she piped up, "Can someone just tell me about Lu Bu and Dong Zhuo?"

Shangxiang looked away from her husband and tilted her head like she always did, giggling, "Oops, sorry!" She said. "Won't you tell her, honey?" If her eyes were red, she could resemble some sort of evil creature that could kill Bei with her glare.

"Yes, of course," he whispered meekly. Sometimes Shangxiang truly frightened him. A lot. "When you stepped off of Zhuo, he sprinted off. I followed him, but he outran me and went into Bu's palace. Again, I followed. By the time I got inside all I saw was Zhuo and Bu across from each other in a pool of blood. Bu had a bullet in his shoulder and in the crevice of his neck, and had deep gashes on his chest and arms. Zhuo had a dagger jammed in his chest, along with many bullet wounds and gashes."

Diaochan couldn't help herself at this point. "Oh," she cried as she buried her face in her hands. "My lord..."

Shangxiang walked over to the girl and patted her back in an attempt to comfort her. As she did so, Guan Yinping, Guan Xing, and Zhang Bao moseyed into the dining room.

"Uncle Bei! We're back from-"

"Quiet, Yinping!" Shangxiang hissed. She gestured to the wailing Diaochan. Bao laughed and nudged Yinping. Xing hung his head simply.

"Where is your brother, Guan Suo, children?" Bei looked towards Yinping and Xing.

"He's upstairs, still practicing his lyre with his teacher," Xing replied.

"Okay. There are bowls of porridge on the counter. That is your breakfast. Finish it all." Bei practically yelled.

"Aww, porridge again, uncle? Why can't we have sushi like you guys?" Zhang Bao complained. This time, Shangxiang said, "Don't expect me not to remember the fact I overheard you screaming your plan to find Lady Diaochan." Yinping looked down, an embarrassed blush blooming o her cheeks.

"Loud mouth," Bao snickered.

"Potty mouth!"

"Pushy!"

"Arrogant!"

"Cliquey!"

"Lazy!"

"Leave! You will eat in your bedrooms!" Bei snapped. The two silenced and hurried away. "Please excuse my godchildren. I think the war is getting to them."

Diaochan lifted her head and looked at the man skeptically. "Godchildren? War?" She questioned. Liu Bei nodded, growing a wistful expression.

"You see, it's a long story. Our kingdom, Shu, has been at war with Wei for a while now," he explained.

"Their emperor, Cao Cao, turned on us," Shangxiang added.

"Cow Cow?" Diaochan tested Cao Cao's name.

"No, no, T'sao T'sao."

"As I was saying," Bei continued quickly. " Bao's father, Zhang Fei, and Yinping, Xing, and Suo's father, Guan Yu, were my sworn brothers and had volunteered to meet Wei on the battlefield. A day later, here comes the four saying their fathers died. So we took them in-"

"Zhang Fei's men turned against him while Guan Yu died from a stab wound," Shangxiang said.

"Woman, would you let me speak?!"

"Be patient, then!"

As the couple began bickering again, Diaochan gazed in the direction the children went pitifully.

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, guys. :( I hope this chapter makes up for the lack in updates!**

**Extra: **

**Guan Xing scowled as he watched his siblings insult each other.**

**"Idiots," thought. He straightened his posture readily. "I wonder what Uncle Bei will do to us this time." **


End file.
